Tulpencoin Inc

Tulpencoin Inc's Corporate Logo

Corporate Structure

Tulpencoin Inc is a technology corporation specialising in the development and promulgation of the Tulpencoin series of cryptocurrencies. It promotes itself as a truly modern virtual organisation, in that the location of its headquarters - and indeed any of its facilities - is a closely-guarded secret, although they are strongly rumoured to be offshore. Quite literally. It emerges from time to time into the public eye in order to promote one of its products, but tends not to stay very long before disappearing back into the shadows.

In fact, the entire Tulpencoin operation was based on the artificial island of Channellia, before it sank into the Bristol Channel.

Little is known of its organisational structure. Its Chief Technical Officer, Tiger de Montfort, has never given interviews to the press and his only known public appearance was at the launch of the Tulpencoin Super Plus initial coin offering. The rest of the board are largely anonymous, although the libertarian philosopher Kevin Wilberts is known to be associated with the company.

As is The Hon Sholto Chelford-Bickerton, the seigneur of Channellia.

The Products

The original Tulpencoin was styled as the world's first semistablecoin. Rather than being pegged to the US dollar, like other stablecoins, Tulpencoin was pegged to a basket of the world's most volatile currencies. According to the prospectus, this meant that the long-term risk for Tulpencoin Inc was considerably reduced, which meant in turn that there was less risk for the investors.

However, according to crypto-sceptic Gerard David, the author of the definitive cryptocurrency study Christ, What a Load of Horseshit!, this strategy was about as effective as

a dead galah's jockstrap.^{[citation needed]}

Inevitably, it turned out that the Tulpencoin became one of the world's most unstable coins, making it a uniquely disastrous investment.

It was actually far worse than this, as the whole operation was in fact a front for a trojan horse that stole crypto wallets from its investors. However, this part of the operation at least came to an end when Channellia sank.

The Tulpencoin Super Plus product was an attempt to address some of the failings in the original Tulpencoin offering.