Difference between revisions of "Benny Olafson"
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'''Benny Olafson''' is a maverick Scandinavian food entrepreneur. His company ''Benisons'' is generally recognised to be the European market leader in the burgeoning high-end roadkill sector. His buccaneering style and frequent disregard for food safety laws has often brought him into conflict with the authorities, but his products remain inexplicably popular. However, the recent so-called ''Geigerburger'' incident, despite its felicitous outcome, has raised some questions as to Olafson's judgement. | '''Benny Olafson''' is a maverick Scandinavian food entrepreneur. His company ''Benisons'' is generally recognised to be the European market leader in the burgeoning high-end roadkill sector. His buccaneering style and frequent disregard for food safety laws has often brought him into conflict with the authorities, but his products remain inexplicably popular. However, the recent so-called ''Geigerburger'' incident, despite its felicitous outcome, has raised some questions as to Olafson's judgement. | ||
==The Geigerburger Incident== | ==The Geigerburger Incident== | ||
| − | In 2017, the ''Łuszcząca się jak Skurwysyn''<ref>This is supposed to translate as "Flaky as Fuck", although I have to admit my only source here is Google Translate</ref> nuclear reprocessing plant in north-east Poland suffered a substantial leak, affecting a number of downstream | + | In 2017, the ''Łuszcząca się jak Skurwysyn''<ref>This is supposed to translate as "Flaky as Fuck", although I have to admit my only source here is Google Translate. I'm not even sure if there are any nuclear reprocessing plants in Poland.</ref> nuclear reprocessing plant in north-east Poland suffered a substantial leak, affecting a number of downstream farms. One of these was the source for Benisons' ''Supersonic Reindeer Burgers'', although this didn't become general knowledge until some time after the event. |
==Recovery== | ==Recovery== | ||
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{{quote|a devious little [[Cunt|VERY BAD WORD]] who wouldn't know a set of principles if it bit him in the bollocks}} | {{quote|a devious little [[Cunt|VERY BAD WORD]] who wouldn't know a set of principles if it bit him in the bollocks}} | ||
| − | and the hashtag #geigerburgers | + | and the hashtag #geigerburgers began to trend on Twitter. In the end, the scandal faded away as quickly as it had arisen, mainly due to the fact that the irradiated meat turned out to be unexpectedly tasty. |
{{#spoiler:show=Spoiler for THE TRUTH ABOUT ARCHIE AND PYE|The junior PR executive charged with resolving the Geigerburger incident was none other than [[Tom Winscombe]]. It was also Tom who, in a fit of exasperation at Olafson's unwillingness to co-operate with any of his suggestions, described him to one of his staff, in Olafson's hearing, using the exact same phrase that later turned up on Wikipedia. It was also Tom who, having been dismissed from Benisons' premises, made that update to Wikipedia. It was also Tom who made a succession of unauthorised tweets from the company's account, resulting in the hashtag #geigerburgers trending. | {{#spoiler:show=Spoiler for THE TRUTH ABOUT ARCHIE AND PYE|The junior PR executive charged with resolving the Geigerburger incident was none other than [[Tom Winscombe]]. It was also Tom who, in a fit of exasperation at Olafson's unwillingness to co-operate with any of his suggestions, described him to one of his staff, in Olafson's hearing, using the exact same phrase that later turned up on Wikipedia. It was also Tom who, having been dismissed from Benisons' premises, made that update to Wikipedia. It was also Tom who made a succession of unauthorised tweets from the company's account, resulting in the hashtag #geigerburgers trending. | ||
Latest revision as of 09:17, 18 November 2020
Benny Olafson is a maverick Scandinavian food entrepreneur. His company Benisons is generally recognised to be the European market leader in the burgeoning high-end roadkill sector. His buccaneering style and frequent disregard for food safety laws has often brought him into conflict with the authorities, but his products remain inexplicably popular. However, the recent so-called Geigerburger incident, despite its felicitous outcome, has raised some questions as to Olafson's judgement.
The Geigerburger Incident
In 2017, the Łuszcząca się jak Skurwysyn[1] nuclear reprocessing plant in north-east Poland suffered a substantial leak, affecting a number of downstream farms. One of these was the source for Benisons' Supersonic Reindeer Burgers, although this didn't become general knowledge until some time after the event.
Recovery
The Bristol PR company mKG.Q* was engaged to assist with managing what was infelicitously described as "the fallout" from this. There followed a dicey few days, during which the company's Wikipedia entry was at one point altered to describe Olafson as
a devious little VERY BAD WORD who wouldn't know a set of principles if it bit him in the bollocks
and the hashtag #geigerburgers began to trend on Twitter. In the end, the scandal faded away as quickly as it had arisen, mainly due to the fact that the irradiated meat turned out to be unexpectedly tasty.
Future Plans
Following the unforeseen outcome of the Geigerburger incident, Olafson dropped plans to introduce a line of Elk Balls and is now targeting the increasingly profitable MOUP[2] market with particular reference to post-Brexit Britain.
