The Harmonious Bower of the Nawab of Ouenq

The Harmonious Bower of the Nawab of Ouenq is an unusually comprehensive early Victorian sex manual, originally "translated" by the explorer and roué Brigadier Foxglove Hawtrey, who reportedly came across it during his exploration of the Back Passage of the Hindu Kush. On his return to England, he privately commissioned a short print run of two thousand copies, which he sold at an exorbitant price to members of various London clubs. Hawtrey died young, but extremely rich and apparently fulfilled in

every aspect of his manhood^{[citation needed]}

although recent work by the Goonhilly Institute for Epidemiology^{[citation needed]} suggests that Hawtrey may also have been the prime vector for the outbreak of syphilis that ravaged the minor aristocracy of Kent during the middle of the 19th century.

Following Hawtrey's death, the book largely disappeared from view, although the occasional copy surfaced in the London auction rooms, where it was invariably described in the catalogue as a work of comparative ornithology. However, following the Lady Chatterley trial in 1963, an opportunistic paperback edition was rushed out by Beat Route Press, an event which was famously referenced in an early draft of Larkin's Annus Mirabilis:

Sexual intercourse began
In nineteen sixty-three
(which was rather late for me) -
Between the end of the "Chatterley" ban
And that thing by old Hawtrey.

At the return of the millennium, the problematic nature of many of the practices described in the book mandated a fresh look at the text, and the task fell to George Burgess. By this time, Beat Route Press had been the subject of a reverse takeover by a consortium led by Jon Sharp and Mal Practice and was now renamed Sharp/Practice. Sharp and Practice were notorious in the literary world for pulling unusual stunts, but on this occasion they went too far, dressing Burgess's new translation up as an exact facsimile of a Penguin Modern Classic. Penguin's response was quick and uncompromising: all copies of the book were to be pulped and a suitable amount was to be paid by way of compensation. Something similar happened in 2013, when the once-popular lounge crooner Steven Morrissey attempted to pass off his autobiography in a similar fashion. On this occasion, Penguin were more forgiving and allowed a small number of copies to remain in print, and these can often be found in charity shops, retailing for a few pence.